going downhill: faster, faster!

Ever get those non-alcoholic hangovers, usually from too much poor sleep--ie. sleeping on the bus, sleeping with the light on, passing out while doing an assignment, sleeping throughout the day only to wake up at 3am not knowing what to do...? How do you fix those, with more sleep?

It feels like I haven't been to class in forever, and that's probably true. I woke up 3.5 hours late for my 3 hour lecture today, that means I totally missed it. Actually, I sort of recall people banging on my door... poor roomates, I let them down. Well! The academic routine has been broken; it's only a matter of time now before the academic standing starts to crumble too. Or maybe sharing a bathroom with PokSee will have some sort of magical infectious effect on my marks. I believe in ponies and rainbows and pots of gold... not magic though, there's no such thing as magic. But I'm waiting for that bathroom to prove me wrong.

a moment of weakness

a thousand calls around me
a thousand faces to see
a thousand places to be
a thousand wishes to flee

but wings you have not
could i be all that you've got
when you're alone and distraught
stuck in the world to rot

for a thousand silent cries
a thousand times i've tried
what is to be sacrificed
why don't my efforts suffice

my innosence, my crown
my intentions, then and now
could they have fallen without a sound
i'm sorry to have let you down.

3rd year in Loo

So, my third year here at the Loo has begun. Work habits have not changed: mornings on due dates are incredibly busy, and other times... not so busy. Seasonal health issues have proved consistent: allergies, possible strep throat this September; and as both the temperature and humidity decreases, intense skin irritation is expected in the later months. Personal quirks remain: I still kick water and other dirt particles on the back of my pants like there's no tomorrow... more on the right leg at that.

Of course, there are many other things that are no longer the same as before. Some I miss: like certain individuals and the innosence of youth... and some I don't miss: like certain individuals and the stupidity of youth. No, i haven't grown that much, and some individuals I am still looking forward to missing in the future.

Some highlights of my academic experiences so far:

• Intro to Law was severely dreaded but has been surprisingly interesting so far! It's also held in an interesting lecture hall built like SeaWord: steep and tight arrangement of seats. If you drop something you'll never get it back.
• Research Methods is NOT math to some's relieve, but potentially relevant BS led by an inflexible lady with an inflexible fro who over-articulates her words and under-articulates her assertions. ...and she resembles a cross between a chicken and Ronald McDonald. McBitchen was her name today.
• 4th year Design Seminar is proposing a relatively expensive trip to Chicago, but a conflict with McBitchen's midterm is a cause for concern. I have a feeling she's going down, fro and all.
• Second lecture of Planning Theory marks my first sleep scribble of the school year!
• CONSER RES MGMT BUILT ENVIRON: no I'm not sure what it stands for but it ends early on Friday!

Enough for now.

To me, my blog is...

Generic blogs are generally boring, I know. This is a generic blog, I know. But did you know, that generic blogs are not meant for an audience other than the author? That's right, I'm here to entertain myself.

To me, my blog is...

• hope: that despite being a generally generic, uninteresting person with a generic blog that is generally uninteresting, I have a voice and I will be heard. ...Even when I have nothing to say.
• my friend: when there is not a soul in the world who isn't be right back, away, on the phone, out to lunch, appear offline, or blocking me on MSN, I turn to my blog, who won't listen but will publish for a long time all the nonsensical gunk spewing from my brain. This of course, relates to my previous point, hope. (note: People on my MSN who I am not interested in talking to don't count.)
• a refuge: from boredom, from loneliness, from stress, from clutter of things, events, people, thoughts, and emotions... Every new post is a clean, white, soft, lotioned, 2-ply, quilted square ready to be smeared and stained with my cynicism and enthusiasm for the random.

Ultimately, and especially applicable today, my blog is...

• procrastination: I have less than 12 hours to finish my work report. There isn't much to do, but there is also a lot more to do than I am aware of. In other words, I am fucked.

I hate the number 837.

This marks the 102nd post on SAVAGE. bread crust for the birds. The number 102 means that my last post was 101, which really, was a more sigifnicant entry number than 102. Number 101 is socially accepted as more special, because it is one more than a hundred--that's a lot! Of course, Dalmatians and other non-sensical bullshit had to do with it too.

Or whatever, I don't care about the numbers 101 or 102.

How about 111, and 837? Especially 837. I hate that number. 8:37 is the time that a bus is supposed to come at my stop, the bus that would ideally take me to work, the 111. Could it be just a coincidence that I watched it pass me by 3 work days in a row? The first 2 times I will admit that I had left the house late and didn't quite make it across the street, and had to pitifully watch it zoom by. But today! Oh today was different. See, I caught on, I knew about the curse, and that I'd just barely miss the bus if I had followed my routine; so I left earlier and Voila! There I stood, at the bus stop, waiting for my bus. No bus was to leave without me, not today, not the 111, not at 8:37am. But BAM! There it went, racing by just slowly enough for me to see the number 111 at the back of the bus. I had bent down to fix my pants and I MISSED THE FUCKING BUS, AGAIN!

Unbelievable! I'm disheartened.

MT

Tonight may be the first night that I really feel like I need a friend with me, a certain friend who I may have lost. I have often thought of him, missed him, been sad about the loss... but it wasn't until now that I felt lonely without him; mostly because, ironically, life has been quite pleasantly surprising lately and has kept me very busy.

There's no need to tell a regretable story, nor do I want to share it with the world, especially given the lack of anonymity here on this blog.

He was a good friend, a best friend at that. Someone who would patiently sit with me at the most inconvenient times when I was down, not needing a reasonable explanation as to why I needed the comfort, even though one would be nice. It's nights like these, when I feel uneasy but find myself incapable of composing a coherent narration of my thoughts, that I most want him to simply be there.

He was a trusting friend. Someone who opened up and allowed me to make him happy. Believe it or not, it does take a sort of courage. When he needed cheering up, I was always more than happy, even proud, to be the one who intuitively knew what to do.

Despite changes, the way I see it, he still is my friend. He may no longer want to talk to me, for now, or for a long time to come... but I know that we have one another's best wishes. That, in itself, is a kind of comfort.

freestyle for my mate

So I've gotten into writing rhymes and rap and freestyling lately thanks to my boy Lionel. And so it's spread to my friends and my best flatmate ever writes to me a poem. Here is my reply:

PK, O
Did u PK, yo?
if you did i, hope
it was for a certain blue, rose!

Thanks for writin' me, rhymes
Sure helps to pass the, time
cuz today the sun ain't, shinin'
I fear the fall is, climbin'..

up the legs of my, bed
sh*t it haunts me in the, head
sh*t i'm gonna be so, sad
sh*tty winter drives me, mad

with it's snow, ice, storms and, all
watching those penguins, fall
together they stand, tall
alone they're just too, small

AAAH!
my rhymes are tied, stickin' to the trick and the tick of the time and i find it is time to rewind and FREESTYYYLE!

yo PK, O, you know i don't like the cold. jo--that's my name, summer that's my game
round em up ho's, grind em down low, u know i miss em, oh, now u know i kissed em, yo
i meant just one, u know her she's the one, the fun, the girl's who got em guns
bringin' the sun, til the last call, run, 10 K like the PK-o, fast to the last of the midnight delight
got shots to the hot shots with the hot bods, we do not want hot rods---OH!! that's RIGHT!
but go on reach down your pants, get her a sex on the beach... you sick!
i meant go on reach down for the cash, get her a sex on the beach, you SO sick!
forget it! i'll get her the sex on the beach, though she wants some sex on the beach, ha! do i make you tick?
i'm clean, we're all clean! what you talkin' about, i know what u're thinkin' about, now
GO TO YOUR ROOM!

HAHAAAAA!!!! *ahem*

so, when the fun is done,
come over with your MJ for the J, that's me
my place after you sing K, i'm east
in the mornin' we'll feast
at the least we'll beast
on the meat, it's all about the beef at the KB
and the icy ice cream treats from PC

don't even get me started on the japs
sashimi, sushi, u tempt me. damn crazy snacks
we gotta hack em sacks, we gotta fack em flabs,
you lackin' em packs? c'mon lets hacky sack!
waterloo i'm back, where the party at
loo crew i'm back, this time i got my stash

first time first floor, second time on the second floor
we movin up, PKO
keep your head up, dont PK, yo
courtesy our history. flatmates again? the mystery.
we're not lost at sea, we'll just wait and see,
1105, see to the C for the communist prophecy!

greetings from the east
i'm outs for now, peace!

beauty mag culture

beauty mag culture is disgusting.

my last 2 beauty mag purchases have been overwhelmingly disappointing: expensive little books on other people's romantic embarassments, sex tips, ads, latest unaffordable & not-so-fashionable trends, false gossip, and more ads. I bought the magazines for certain pictures, like Gwen Stefani looking cool, but the intensity of female bullshit jumping up at my face was simply too unbearable.

moral of the story: i should have known.

just when i thought i could be smart to avoid such investments, i was reminded of a certain harsh fact: beauty mag culture is only successful because it is beyond the magazine rack. a trip to the mall showed me the prominence of consumer culture, and the virtues we're so encouraged to radiate: prestige, greed, overall shallowness and to top it all off, hollow headed blabber to let your friends know just how much it all cost [the more expensive the better, of course]. surely not everyone in the mall deserves such curel judgement; but those who do exemplify this ideal, i like to call mall bitches.

moral of the story: don't be a mall bitch--because omg, it's sooo not cool.

in other interesting news, according to thespark.com's gender test, i am statistically male. for those of you who feel offended by this post, here's your comfort.

things that worsen my quality of life

things that worsen my quality of life:

changing humidity / pressure - gives me headaches /allergies
bagels - make me sleepy
greyhound air conditioning - makes me want to nosebleed
artificial light - keeps me awake for longer hours than nature intended
ice cream purchase without the opportunity to try a free sample first - wastes my hopes and money
good ice cream that's not on sale - too disheartening, especially after realizing that the ice cream i did end up buying is not worth my money
rain - limits entertainment options
winter - directly threatens my physical and mental health

moral of the story? blame is kind of fun.

Less than two hours away from heading back to Ottawa. My heart sinks like it does everytime. There are lots of things for me to do in the next hour and I feel like I could set stuff on fire.

I meant to write about my wicked weekend here in TO and the wretched things I'm reminded of--but I fell asleep while writing and lost it. Maybe next post.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE SO RICE!!! In a way I long for the lonely life in Ottawa.

Must pack now. And sign forms, and do shit. Didn't I tell you humans are stupid? Make life so complicated... pfft.

hair dye 2

Ladies and dirty old men, i mean, gentlemen:

Today I will attempt to dye my hair blond. Everyone who I've consulted think it's a bad idea, but fuck it I'm dying my hair blond.

...Only, it won't actually be blond because there is no bleach in this formula, and my hair will just get a little lighter. The same thing happens why I try to dye my hair bright red or orange. For asians, the whole hair colour section at the store is called BROWN. Many, many different shades of brown that must be picked very carefully. Because you might end up with that horrible dark brown instead of the dark brown of the season. PFFT whatever. Pick a random box and you'll have some random brown that looks like any other random brown from another random box!

By the way, toothpastefordinner.com is the place to be if you love random shit as much as I do!

But wouldn't it be cool if there are little things you can do to look more like Jessica Alba? NO! ...I mean, yes... but, NO! Anyway she's hot. But she'll never beat Angelina.

Hmm. I'm having second thoughts about this hair colouring business. I kind of like my hair this specific shade of brown. BUT WHATEVER! Random brown here we go!

You know I meant to say random blond.

People with boyfriends AND roomates

A certain social epidemic has caught my attention over the past two years.

It seems that girls like to keep their boyfriends overnight at her place, and forget all basic manners towards her roomates. First of all, she doesn't ask if her boyfriend could stay over, or give any sort of notification. When he gets to her place, she doesn't introduce him to anyone, and ~in the midst of their romantic yearning to be in eachothers arms~ [give me a break] she forgets to lock the door. And while the two wine and dine [making a mess in the kitchen], cuddle [taking up more common space than they think; nobody is going to sit on the couch beside you], giggle, fuck [sometimes way too loudly], and fight [violence is always refreshing, isn't it?], the roomates are left with no option but to find as many distractions as possible until peace is restored. Timid roomates may go as far as skipping meals to avoid the couple. But peace doesn't come easy, or often. The boyfriend tends to stay over for days on end, even while his girlfriend is out. In unfortunate cases this boyfriend would talk to the roomate and ask of ridiculous favours.

The solution: If you want to live together, then live together in your own legit flat. If you only want to live with him half the time, then get your own flat and have him over half the time. If you only want him over once in a while, then only have him over once in a while; once a week, tops. If you're too cheap to get your own flat, then get with the program and stop being the selfish inconsiderate roomate you are.

Government Worker

Here I am again, an hour before I can leave boring boring work. My data-entry task is getting overwhelmingly huge. I’m about half way through finding the addresses for those 2500 given postal codes and already I’ve got over 10,000 entries in the excel file. [More than one address for each postal code.] This morning I was “in” Quebec and now I’m done Ontario, sweeping west. Vancouver here I come! Yeah right, I wish!

Highlight: FOREST was one of the hick towns I looked up! So it DOES exist!

Sometimes the clicking back and forth makes me dizzy and sends me to sleep. Then I find myself in trouble because I’d have to backtrack to find where I was and to see if I had made any mistakes. Would it be too ambitious to want the whole database done by Thursday? With some time for another blog entry maybe? =P

Today’s an extra long day. 10 hours of work. “10 hours” with I guess 15 minutes scraped from the start and ends, haha! These extra hours will help me get Friday off, so I can leave in the morning for T.O., the center of the universe. Boss is still gone btw, for the week.

Vanessa has finally contacted me, through e-mail. It was an invite to go clubbing. Vanessa, for those of you don’t don’t know, is a friend from the Loo who landed a job near Ottawa as well. Oh how I long to club! But, I’m going home this weekend, which is even better. Plus, that email was dated 2 weeks ago anyway. It’s just that I found it now.

Anyhow, she’s apparently a very outgoing adventurous person and has been getting to know the downtown pretty well! Good, now I’ve got someone to show me around! Someone to act as motivation for me to go out to see the city too. It should be good. Unless of course she was exaggerating about the “great city” and clubbing / bar hopping every weekend. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case! Despite that I’m glad we finally found each other’s contacts and began to make plans.

Here’s something funny for you Chinese People: BIG EYES LOOK TOO FAR.

How’s that for a translation! Haha!

Miss things-breaker

Very intersting things happened after my last post. I broke the printer at work! It was printing, and printing... and every once in a while there would be a paper jam. But I guess that was one paper jam too much. The printer starting making this horribly loud noise and just wouldn't fix itself. Eventually I had to tell my boss. He was nice about it, didn't blame me or anything. It was fun running to different printers and photocopiers with with him afterwards. It probably wasn't fun for him though.

Later I found out that the guy in the office across the hall peeked into my room cuz he thought something was on fire. It actually reeked of burning tires in my office and spreading outside, but the gases grew so gradually that I never noticed. Kind of like those frogs that die in gradually boiling water. No, I didn't just call myself a frog.

And I suppose my experience was much better than the guy who died from his own gases in his room. Toxic.

Here's a fortunately-unfortunately story called PINEAPPLE:

Miss things-breaker bought a pineapple and cut it.

Unfortunately, she didn't know what to do with the core that's left.

Fortunately, she thought of juicing it.

Unfortunately, she didn't have a juicer and the potato masher was no good.

Fortunately, she was clever enough to boil the juice out of it.

Unfortunately, it was taking a while.

Fortunately, it smelled pretty good!!!

Unfortunately, she forgot about it and let it BURN!

Fortunately, all that black crust was on a stainless steel pot rather than a non-stick.

Unfortunately, IT WASN'T HER POT! It was her roomate's!

Fortunately, roomate was out and she had time to scrape it clean.

Unfortunately, it took a LONG time to scrape and the pineapple core was wasted.

Moral of the story?
1. don't try to juice a pineapple core unless you've got a juicer.
2. don't burn stuff.
3. don't use other people's pots to burn stuff.
4. you're not as clever as you think, you Poksee-kid, you.
5. scrape it good!

Good morning boys and girls!

I’m writing from work, while millions and millions of pages are printing. They need to be double sided—and I’m still trying to figure out how to do it! I have a strategy but something tells me it won’t work.

Well anyway! My boss will be gone next week, wee! Co-op coordinator is coming to visit on Monday, how that will work out with the boss gone and all, I don’t know. But things are fine and dandy here so there should be no problem. Do you reckon I should prepare some bullshit about learning objectives in case he asks? First work term co-ops from U of Ottawa (my co-op friends here) need to have objectives written and signed by the coordinator! How horrible!

In other horrible news, there is a BBQ employee appreciation event coming up. People have been receiving calls to order food and tickets. I DIDN’T GET CALLED! I tried emailing the person in charge of my branch, suspecting my phone number’s not listed in the directory, but she’s gone for the week. It makes me feel slightly better, maybe she’ll start calling next week. The people I talked to who ordered already were from a different branch.

AARGH! Why isn’t this printing right?

I’m getting sleepy. Maybe I should turn on the light and put some glasses on, my eyes must be dying. An hour until lunch and I want junk food. Honey dew melon would be lovely… plus a beach, a hot guy, you know. HAHA!

My light workout lately has been basic pilates. I try to do it when I remember, after work. Did it yesterday and today my back is dying. Strange huh. I thought it was supposed to “strengthen your core”. It’s not even Windsor pilates which I have on my computer, and is much more hard core! It’s dumbo pilates! Can I be that unfit? I want to download Tae-Bo again, if only I had the bandwidth to do it. Then I can do pilates and tae-bo! Good balance.

*Yawn* inefficient day. Waiting to print second copy of first document. 48 more to go. Think I’ll finish by 5? I think I will have to stay behind. Am I going to get overtime for it? I don’t think so. Maybe that’ll stock up some hours for me to leave early one day! =D Ja think? Oh I don’t know, I wouldn’t count on these things.

life in ottawa

So I'm finally here. Yes, I'm still alive. Apologies for not writing as I said so confidently that I would. Life has been leisurely but not entirely free.

It's been exactly one month since I've moved to Ottawa and I'd like to think that I've adjusted quite well. There has been many accomplishments, I feel that I've grown in some ways but also falling behind in the prime of my life. Let's see what I can share today:

1. Ottawa: small city, big animals.
Ottawa is rather small and bland compared to Toronto. Cleaner, greener, but bland. Malls here are overwhelmingly small--there are multiple "malls" a fraction of the size of Hillcrest if you'd believe me! For example, the "mall" where Loblaws is down the street has only one relevant fasion store: Fairweather. Reitmans is there too if you want to count that. [As a side note, I've made multiple purchases from fairweather. Very possibly due to lack of choices, but some of their stuff is quite nice!] Ottawa is low density on the world scale but top 10 in Canada, which is a sad point. In a way the world seems smaller now. I never really given much thought to how un-populated Canada is outside of Toronto, the center of the universe. Just to be fair, please keep in mind that I'm not living in the downtown core. There's not as much to see but the semi-suburban feel here is very comfortable. One thing that I love about this city though, is its abundance of big animals. Not hippos and tigers, but bigger than your average T.O. squirrel and pigeon. Outside my work there are groundhog burrows, families of giant brown guinea pig looking creatures can easily be spotted on a warm sunny day. *sigh* =) VERY cute.

2. The Bus Challenge
So the spoiled overgrown little girl finally had to take the bus. As expected, I've messed up a couple times, shocked by the percieved unreliability of the bus system. With time comes knowledge, no matter how stupid you are, and the bus system seems to make a little more sense. Still I am restricted to the few bus routes I'm familiar with, too reserved to go exploring. And somehow I tend to find myself waiting the longest time possible for a bus, when I've looked up the schedules and planned my time. Is it my luck, my clock, or just me? The good news is I haven't been lost yet.

3. Culinary skills
Since I live the life of a loner here in Ottawa, and live a very modest walking distance to a small Loblaws, I've had the opportunity to expand my culinary horizons. Some of my newest achievements include "sour plum soup", papaya "snow ear" tong sui, cabbage rolls, and stew. Most of the time my food turn out great, but sometimes not so great. This pork that I bought this week for instance, is not cool at all.

4. All by Myself... don't wanna be, ALL BY MYSELLLLF! OHHHH!!!
Yes, yes. The Bridget Jones theme song indeed! I'm living the wonderful summer of my 21st year and look, I've got no family and no friends by my side. Mind you friends are hard to make, especially when you haven't got one single buddy to begin with. Deprived of warm, in-person human contact, social entertainment, and who knows what else I'm missing out on! Sometimes it does get lonely, I won't lie about it. On the other hand, all this solitary time playing solitare solitarily has granted me a much needed break from the everyday toil and stress of university life. [No, I don't play solitaire solitarily. I just felt like saying something stupid.] Having so little worries is surprisingly refreshing, as though I've forgotten how it feels to be relaxed! Having complete control of my life is also quite wonderful. Still, I'm always a little tense while I'm here, or anywhere away from home. My friend Mark once told me that a big part of growing up is learning to be by yourself. When you think about it, it's true isn't it? All my life I've had someone to cling to, to live with or just to follow around on a bus. Now that I haven't these resources I've been forced to learn to be much more independent. It's not a bad thing, as much as I dislike growing up.

It's been a long, long entry. In the end I guess I just want to tell you that quite often I'd find myself happy for no reason at all. Sometimes I'd have keep myself from bursting into laughter in public, when I think of something funny. Many of us are having our mid-life crisis too early. Here's my message to you: It's all good.

hair dye

10 minutes. That's how much longer I have to wait until I wash this dye out of my hair. Yup, I'm dying my hair, red, again.

Trying a new brand makes me scared. Scared that I'll end up fat headed from a horrible allergic reaction; scared that my skin will get dyed (it's sort of happened already); scared that the colour will finally work like it does on white people, and I will end up looking like Ronald McDonald...

We'll see soon enough!

Waiting also gets me thinking about random things. Things like, where the hell is my CD case? I've got hundreds of dollars worth of entertainment in there and I better not have left it at the studio over a week ago. Hopefully it's at home, cuz it's definitely not here at Loo.

I've also been trying to imagine what life in Ottawa will be like. Ottawa is where I've been placed for my first co-op term, starting May. Getting lost in the bus system is almost guaranteed. Getting lost on the Greyhound system? Hope not! I'm afraid. I've been living away from home but I've never been completly detached from family support or the car. There's a first for everything and with any luck I will turn out just fine.

By the way, I got a nice place to live over there. Legit apartment, 1 roomate only. Makes me feel grown up. :)

Time to wash hair! Til next time...

ivan.

there's this guy--ivan. i'm in love!

this term has been ALL about plan 309, site design studio. for the second and final project, we have to make a physical model so vince, my prof (more about him later) brings in his architect buddy ivan to teach us about model making. he's this young blonde guy, a typical introverted artist, nothing special.

then he whips out this model---and it's the best fucking shit i've ever seen. the detail of the model is defined by the thickness of his material, in this case a sheet of boxcard (think paper). everything is placed perfectly, no glue marks, no extra frills, its perfect. perfect...

so the class ends and i thought we'd never see him again. WRONG! He comes in again, out of the goodness of his heart, at odd hours to offer help. In the end he's spent the longest with our group, and our model turned out 5x more amazing than anyone else's. To help us before our deadline, he cancelled something with his girlfriend for the long weekend. I felt sooooo bad.

You know, when he talks, his passion and expertise shows through and its just so fucking cool. I want to be like that. He doesn't smile or talk too much, only when needed. There's a charm to him that I really like. When he smiles the place brightens up, just a little bit--it's just right. it's a warm and sincere smile...

Back to my point! He ended up giving us materials for free. There is this plexi glass (sheets of plastic) that's very thin and frosted white. You can only order it from New York for 80 bucks a sheet. Yes---he gave us his only piece. It was free from his company but, still. He also lent us an expensive 2 sided tape adhesive so our model wouldn't be messy with glue. ...and the worse I felt.

So today was our final review. A formal critique in a presentation room, with a few professors, and professionals. The project was generally well recieved but there were some issues. At one point, we got stumped at one question about our design---"Why is that space empty? What is going on there?" We didn't know what to say. And then---!!! Ivan clears his throat and defends us, "Well, I think that the project itself is rich enough that the space will be programmed by MTV, and it acts as a very flexible space." and so on. (MTV is our client, we made them a headquarters.) In a situation like that you have no idea how thankful we were.

That was our final review, and the class is over. I'm never going to see him again... EXCEPT, I asked him to go out for dinner with the group!!! He was like "no its okay" at first... But then i said "unless u don't like us" and he couldn't say no. Hehe.. evil. He laughed and said "no, i do like you, that would be nice." So we'll see him next week.

Seriously... SERIOUSLY!!! I can't stop thinking about him. Writing my exam today I kept pausing, thinking of just how wicked this guy is. He's my new boyband. I want one, an Ivan. HAHA! Can't take this one because he's got a girlfriend.

By the way, my exam. Exams actually. In the last two days I wrote two exams without even glancing at a page of notes before hand---clearly because of the model. No sleep either so I was passing out every 2 minutes and writing incoherent sentences. As long as i still make coop average this term, this project was worth it. I owed it to Ivan to make a kick ass model.

And he was pleased. I can't believe it! The model god likes our project! I feel like I just got knighted. (I'd say saint but they only become saints when they die.)

So this is my infatuation. I wish I had a picture of him. Of course it's awfully awkward to ask for a photo, I won't do it. :P

Next blog: Vince the prof and his hatred for me.

...Now that I got that out of my system I can act normal again.

ivan.

there's this guy--ivan. i'm in love!

this term has been ALL about plan 309, site design studio. for the second and final project, we have to make a physical model so vince, my prof (more about him later) brings in his architect buddy ivan to teach us about model making. he's this young blonde guy, a typical introverted artist, nothing special.

then he whips out this model---and it's the best fucking shit i've ever seen. the detail of the model is defined by the thickness of his material, in this case a sheet of boxcard (think paper). everything is placed perfectly, no glue marks, no extra frills, its perfect. perfect...

so the class ends and i thought we'd never see him again. WRONG! He comes in again, out of the goodness of his heart, at odd hours to offer help. In the end he's spent the longest with our group, and our model turned out 5x more amazing than anyone else's. To help us before our deadline, he cancelled something with his girlfriend for the long weekend. I felt sooooo bad.

You know, when he talks, his passion and expertise shows through and its just so fucking cool. I want to be like that. He doesn't smile or talk too much, only when needed. There's a charm to him that I really like. When he smiles the place brightens up, just a little bit--it's just right. it's a warm and sincere smile...

Back to my point! He ended up giving us materials for free. There is this plexi glass (sheets of plastic) that's very thin and frosted white. You can only order it from New York for 80 bucks a sheet. Yes---he gave us his only piece. It was free from his company but, still. He also lent us an expensive 2 sided tape adhesive so our model wouldn't be messy with glue. ...and the worse I felt.

So today was our final review. A formal critique in a presentation room, with a few professors, and professionals. The project was generally well recieved but there were some issues. At one point, we got stumped at one question about our design---"Why is that space empty? What is going on there?" We didn't know what to say. And then---!!! Ivan clears his throat and defends us, "Well, I think that the project itself is rich enough that the space will be programmed by MTV, and it acts as a very flexible space." and so on. (MTV is our client, we made them a headquarters.) In a situation like that you have no idea how thankful we were.

That was our final review, and the class is over. I'm never going to see him again... EXCEPT, I asked him to go out for dinner with the group!!! He was like "no its okay" at first... But then i said "unless u don't like us" and he couldn't say no. Hehe.. evil. He laughed and said "no, i do like you, that would be nice." So we'll see him next week.

Seriously... SERIOUSLY!!! I can't stop thinking about him. Writing my exam today I kept pausing, thinking of just how wicked this guy is. He's my new boyband. I want one, an Ivan. HAHA! Can't take this one because he's got a girlfriend.

By the way, my exam. Exams actually. In the last two days I wrote two exams without even glancing at a page of notes before hand---clearly because of the model. No sleep either so I was passing out every 2 minutes and writing incoherent sentences. As long as i still make coop average this term, this project was worth it. I owed it to Ivan to make a kick ass model.

And he was pleased. I can't believe it! The model god likes our project! I feel like I just got knighted. (I'd say saint but they only become saints when they die.)

So this is my infatuation. I wish I had a picture of him. Of course it's awfully awkward to ask for a photo, I won't do it. :P

Next blog: Vince the prof and his hatred for me.

...Now that I got that out of my system I can act normal again.

Valentines

Ah, Valentines Day.

Not exactly in my 30s, not quite 130 lbs, but Bridget Jones' Diary seems more relatable today than usual. Yes, I'm afraid 20 year-olds do feel like spinsters on certain occasions.

I woke up today confused---I'd overslept again. What should I do? Damn there's something to hand in today. Must get up.

Taking my first step outside I was greeted by not only rain but an endless sheet of ice. Holy Fuck. I stood there on the parking lot for about half a minute, contemplating unintelligently about ice, slopes, and my ass. Needless to say there were many times that I nearly fell; the most entertaining (painful) instance was near Needles Hall, where I struggled a tad too hard to avoid a fall and instantly sprained my neck. Double Fuck.

Fortunately I made it to class on time.

Unfortunately the prof greeted us:
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Insert standard friendly smile, "There's nothing that stirs the heart better than a well designed database management system." Fuck.

And so my day dragged on, sitting, lounging, napping... trying to get my neck to heal... Good thing there wasn't urgent work waiting.

A few hours after sundown and the notion of Valentines Day still hasn't crossed my mind. I was okay. Really, I was. But a brief conversation changed all that.

It was brief, bitter, sweet. Bitter-sweet.

On second thought, it was sweet, more than anything. It's just that it's Valentines Day >:P and the usual just doesn't do.

When will we learn?

What will we learn?

Feburary 14. Valentines Day. A part of me objects.

Anyway I hope the rest of the world had a good time! And I apologize for depressing posts. I"ll make sure the next one is cheerful.

Here's a great V-Day read, courtesy of PKO. This is how blogs should be.

suits, lies, jobs

Co-op's finally starting to become real... From the first round I've got myself 2 interviews. One of them's tomorrow.

It's a phone interview but I figured I should try my suits on, for the hell of it. It turns out I don't look as cool as I thought I did in the store. :P GAH! Sleeves are long and my shoes aren't black.. hmm (?)

Anyway that's pretty much procrastinating. I don't want to prepare for the interview!!! Noo!! You can't make me!!! Hahaha... What's a good weakness?

If you've been around me at all you'd know that I've been coughing like there's no tomorrow. What does that mean for the interview? It means BYEBYE!

The scariest part though, i think, is how you find out who you're against. Most of the people I'm competing against are in my class, and they're smart ass people----booooo!

Well, wish me luck. Nap time.

Tsunami

Not long ago, on Dec 26 2004, a tsunami hit South-East Asia and killed hundreds of thousdands of people.

This was likely the saddest Christmas ever.

Being Asian and having been to Thailand, the news hit me pretty hard. It's just impossible to imagine their grief after losing nearly everything: family, homes, even homelands, hopes and dreams...

My prayer goes out to all who have been affected or have lost their lives in this tragedy. Please help the victims anyway you can.