brand new car!

crazy!!

$3000

$3000 leather heated seats... IS IT WORTH IT?! i think they look like crap.

exasperation

omfg i'm so frustrated i'm going to die.

long d sucks

MARY IS A LIAR

1. aunt's company has charity auction for dinner event, including 30+ iphone 4's
2. after event, 11 left-over iphone 4's became available to staff with highest bid
3. i tell my work buddy, and we submit 2 bids through my aunt. my bid was $255, his bid was $280.
4. aunt gets confirmation from MARY the auction organizer that she was allowed to submit 2 bids, then submits.
5. in the end my aunt wins 1 phone, presumably the $280 bid, and i tell my excited coworker.
6. she also finds out that the average winning bid was $271.
7. i feel fine, because i wouldn't have paid $280 for it.

BUT THEN...

1. aunt tells me that when MARY came to tell her she won, she also said that each staff was only allowed to get one phone
2. i tell aunt that i think it's unfair, and i want to know what lowest bid was, and if i would have won.
3. aunt says she will find out, but tells me not to be upset because my bid was lower than average anyway and i may not have won.
4. i get pissed that my aunt isn't pissed that the auction rules changed on her.
5. meanwhile my coworker keeps texting me asking when he can get his phone.

i can't take the winning phone from my coworker, and i can't get mad at aunt who tried to do everyone a favour. i can't get my aunt to bitch about rule changing because she's not even pissed about it, plus if rules were reverted my coworker's phone may get taken back.

fuck my life. MARY SUCKS. MARY IS A LIAR. my bid better not have won. fuck.

UPDATE: lowest winning bid = $251.

world of regret

1. place itouch on tub ledge while filling bath water

2. squirt bubble bath on itouch

3. wipe itouch with watery hands

4. wipe itouch with towel

5. watch itouch die

6. desperately dry itouch with hair dryer

7. watch itouch die some more

8. spend half day at work fucking with it

9. spend other half day at work contemplating a new itouch

10. look up water damage remedies on line

11. enclose itouch in fuckload of silica gel

12. wait...

unacceptable

so my grandpa ended up in the hospital tonight, my dad is with him. my dad calls me and suggests that i call my aunt to take the shift until morning, so he can work (for me) tomorrow. he also says "don't call the thief", referring to my uncle who he has developed an ungrounded hatred for. wtf. i was so pissed i just said bye and hung up on him.

then he calls me back and pretends the reception was bad.

this is unacceptable.

1461 days

me and matt's 1461-day anniversary is coming in about 10 days. (o_o) I need a brilliant idea...

are u ok

why do people have to feel bad for me, it makes me feel sorry for myself. when they ask if i am okay, it makes me realize it's okay for me not to be. I was okay, and then i wonder if it's not okay that i feel okay.

-___-

hedley

we bury our fears in the drinks and these tears for the days we believed we could fly

despair

everything in my life is tainted. even the one thing that i thought was unstoppable... i thought wrong.

paradise

google images

心事重重...

只會講多錯多。。。

I'm 26!

My dad just came and said happy birthday, at 12:05. I've stepped over to the dark side... RAAAH!

I turned 26 listening to my new found, haven't-been-so-excited-since-With-You-by-Chris-Brown, favourite boy band-y material: PRINCE ROYCE : STAND BY ME. So exciting! I listened to it twice while on the elliptical just now, so good, made me run so fast... WEE! Need to d/l this album...

See, just like I said... I'm going crazy high school style...

I'M 25!!!

A few hours til midnight...

Actually this year, lately, inside... I feel like a teenager. A little restless, a little anxious. Maybe more than a little, but not a lot. I clearly remember being sure that this is the only way to be alive and feel alive. I also remember feeling my heart settle down a little with age, being more comfortable. It's not bad I suppose, to feel what I'm feeling now... a little bit crazy. It is in a morbid way exciting. I can't say I'm as willing to drown in all of this as I used to be, I don't particularly enjoy the turmoil, and don't enjoy that tiny part of me that wants to cry, for reasons beyond my comprehension.

oh no, what if i'm menopausing... XD that's hilarious. No way, I'm not even allowed to eat Cheerios at Target without adult supervision. I'm just... drinking too much...?

easter introspections

lonely long weekend is not going so badly after all. blogging, catching up with a few friends, cooking... next up i need to run some errands, clean house, and work out which i haven't done for an entire month! i think the thing that makes all of this somewhat enjoyable is the weather. my window has been opened for the second day now. it's so nice to smell and hear the air, even if it's just cars and trees. sigh.

something about catching up with friends... i feel a bit strange about unrequited friendships. there are a few people who i'd like to get to know better and keep in touch but they don't really respond with the same enthusiasm. -__- i suppose i have done this to others too, what a bitch... i want more friends!

so i "cooked" yesterday. we got chocolate truffles as a gift and they melted. so i used it to make cappuccino wafers coated with chocolate and hazelnut, with a toothpick so it looks like a popsicle. i might fuck with it some more and drizzle dark chocolate on top. i don't want to eat any of it, but i want to make it interesting looking enough that others will clear it. the whole point is to clear melted choco... right?

it is april. my birthday is coming up. -__- i bet there are still a few people out there who think i'm 12. a lot who think i'm 18. i sort of still feel around 20, but i'm not! oy... matt says i'll feel this way for the next 15 years.

i think about people like laura, she ran off with her bf to be poor and learn a new language, culture... come back and be inspired to do something with her life. many people do that i guess, some with less optimistic results. i look at these people and admire their sense of adventure and courage.

i realize that i'm adventurous too, people think i am, i don't think its common what i have in my life. but, knowing myself as someone who craves adventure... what's next? i took such a safe path to adulthood and now i wonder, what will be the next feat that will prove that i am still chowsie li? there's something unsettling about the lack of direction in my life, did i miss a turn somewhere and now i am bland??? i want adventure, an adventure that takes me somewhere, not adventure like a headless chicken running around or i will end up sitting here again. ...is it time to change my job? time to stop thinking about it and eat lunch.

dream on

A beer and a hammock in Cozumel. I would be so content...

i want summer

summer needs to last forever. it's the best thing in the world and it's free. siiiiiiiiiiigh. trip withdrawl continues, craving adventures. what am i doing sitting INSIDE a house... ... ..?

mopping and worry dolls

i mopped, finally, after over a month. So the water was BLACK by the time i finished, surely half the house was mopped with dirty water. Not sure I should feel proud that I cleaned up so much, or ashamed that I hadn't mopped for so long. ...Hmm...

so i'm back from the cruise with acca, i had a great time :) didn't end up getting a lot of souvenirs cuz they were a rip off, but i did get worry dolls. i have used mine twice already. you tell this tiny little doll your worry (one worry per doll per night), put it under your pillow. while you sleep the doll will take your worries away. so far i think it works, kind of. i am worried about losing my worry doll, wonder if i can tell that to the doll? haha!

high maintenance? (new contacts!)

I fear I might getting a little high maintenance these days. Somehow I managed to go from the twice a day, 2-step face care system of wash face, moisturize to fuckloads-of-steps face care system which at max would involve remove make up (night), wash/exfoliate face, apply toner, apply serum, apply eye cream, apply moisturizer, apply vaseline to lips, apply make up (day). On top of that every now and then there is monkeying with my face like eyebrow plucking, nose strip, moustache waxing, random squeezing of nonexistent pimples, and face mask. Did you notice all those fancy words? What the fuck happened? I use like half a case of Q-tips and cotton balls a day.

I added one more to the routine today, I now have contacts (TA DA!), which apparently take a lot more effort to maintain than glasses. But then again contacts take a lot less effort for my face to hold up.

Instead of wiping glasses on my shirt in the morning I am now learning to wash hands, violently pry my eye open and then delicately place a little silicon/gel lens on my eye, and then hours later wash hands, pry eye open again to PINCH it back out. I also have to wash it in a little pool of special solution in the palm of my hand. Then I have to wash the contact lens case, put new solution inside, and place the lens in their individual left and right cases. I'm still not done, I have to keep track of how many times I've worn them, they go bad after 30 wears. ...Well, at least I remember all these instructions.

So far I like contacts quite a bit. I'm okay with putting lens into eye, but pinching back out seems pretty damn nasty. It's not easy. We'll see how this goes. Maybe in a week I will add eyedrops. @o@