nervousness

Been waking up nervous lately. It feels like a lot is missing from my life. A core group of friends, a job and money to do the things I want to do, or just some other purpose. Oh, and a good exercise routine. I want to get in shape. (Plus that shitty convocation is still haunting me a little. Facebook is full of happy beautiful grads. Man that really sucked.)

Not missing a boy though. That is the one thing that's right in my life. I used to wonder how you know when it is right, and the answer kind of came to me in the shower yesterday. I no longer worry about the future, for the first time I look forward to it. Yea, even with everything else that isn't right... isn't that strange and maybe slightly morbid?

Anyway, life is too static right now. I want to be doing something, ideally travelling around the world with friends, or raising a puppy but more realistically starting work.

BIG BIG SIGH. I hate waking up nervous. Procrastination needs to stop. And bike trip needs to start! I'm going craaaaaaaaaaaazy..!