Losing in life, ugh.

Sleep at 1:30, wake up at 8:30. This has been my general sleeping pattern. No, I'm not busy, I'm just anxious, every morning and night. I hate it. I need something to happen, something to change. Why can't I do it? It's not even 9am and I'm sitting here holding back tears, what the hell... and it's Thanksgiving! Why am I anxious and upset on Thanksgiving? ...Why can't I be a happy little dog... life would be so much easier.