the bridal shower was great, absolutely wonderful... wowns is basically martha stewart, the place looked great. acca and i were proud to be in charge of food and i think we did a great job too. it was good that i was busy with food prep and photo taking, since i didn't know most of the guests. mo was stunning... shining even more than usual. so hot!
there's something else exciting going on: rags has dated her bf for about a year and a half now. they bought a place together! a downtown loft! so fitting for rag's style, it is beyond wicked. i am shocked and so excited for her... i love that they just totally went for it without hesitation. so rags :) lately i have seen a lot of happy love stories, and i must say this was something that finally sparked some jealousy... in a good way.
we stayed a long time after the party to clean, then talked a lot over a little bit of take out dinner. the girls kept saying how much they loved my dress and i was glad because i was a bit insecure about wearing it! unfortunately... the cleaning solution that property management provided for us got on my dress and instantly killed it like bleach. the dress hasn't even been washed, i am so ... sigh. fuck.
something else that sucks: we burnt a table with a kettle. we may get charged for it...
this has been a long, long day with a whole range of emotions. i am so tired, and falling asleep as i am writing. i think... nevermind the self pity, i am glad to discover that i genuinely love to see others happy. thinking back to some of my worst days... i thought that attending weddings and celebrations would be difficult, but it turns out they cheered me up so, so much... i am lucky to witness these beautiful moments in life. these brides i have seen are all so beautiful, shining, and so thoroughly joyful. if the look in their eyes can make me so happy, how happy must the groom be? i know i cry easily from a movie's happy ending, now i know i am the same with real life happy endings :')
i think... so many people admired what i had in my life. i feel almost embarrassed that they now seem to be concerned for me. i fear i have burdened mo and to... today mo handed out wedding invitations to the girls but not to me. i think i know why... i don't like that they tiptoe around me, but i am not going to call them out for it, i know they mean well.
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