Tick tick tick

I got a sunburn from taking an afternoon walk with acca yesterday. It even hurts today, that is not cool. I'm old now, I should take better care of my skin.

Just now, I looked at the first pictures I ever took with mr. Kuni, and our first attempts at "family pictures" at home in WBL. Every one of us looked so young, so very very cute. Mr. Kuni was not even a mister yet, he was only Kuni chan! Yes, even me... I thought I was cute.

Then I look at my skin now, the texture... And I think about that Eason song about the lesson on time. Hmm. Realizing the value of time only when time is up. That is such a constant, ongoing realization, no matter what you are doing in each year of your life there can almost always be more potential living that is not being lived. So, Where does that leave us?

It is not only about time itself, it is also about the state of mind at certain ages that we need to take advantage of. For example: the rawness of my teenage years allowed me to think with philosophical capacities that i no longer have. I am glad that I took the time to think and write then, because I now only remember my conclusions. In some ways I wish I could have foreseen the questions I would have for myself now. I would have had the conviction then to answer. Fast forwarding to now, I am fantastically burdened with the fear of aging to the point that I do not trust my thoughts or feelings. This will only get worse with age, when fears of aging will become actually being old, and having to accept the realities of it... It sounds pessimistuc but it's true. For example: if you want blue hair, you should get it while you're young, because there was nothing to lose... Like, your reputation at work, which actually ends up becoming more important than it should. On that note, why is it that when we are old we start to care about all sorts of, well, shit that we are not even sure we are passionate about? ...anyway I digress.

... I rambled on about a ton of other shit but nothing was coherent, so I deleted it. I guess that's how a blog differs from a friend. I can ramble on about random topics and it will usually be a fulfilling conversation. Here, not so much. Heh.